A single counseling session could help if you:
- have a very specific problem, such as new health situation;
- wonder if a particular situation and your reaction to it is normal;
- have dealt successfully with life problems in the past;
- have hope that your troubles could be addressed by a brief intervention.
Longer term therapy is a better fit if you:
If you want to know the past, to know what has caused you, look at yourself in the present, for that is the past's effects.
- want to understand your patterns of behavior and how they developed / influence you;
- have had repeated difficulties with family and/or romantic relationships;
- would like to accomplish more, but consistently sabotage yourself;
- are depressed or anxious. (Source: Psychology Today, March/April 2006)
If you want to know your future, then look at yourself in the present, for that is the cause of your future. Anonymous
Transformative mediation (see below for more information) may be your need if you:
- are in a negative, destructive, alienating, and demonizing conflict;
- find yourself in a conflict cycle that you cannot break;
- want alternative dispute resolution. (See bottom of page for more information)
Marriage / Couple Counseling
Good relationships / marriages create a context for functional individuals and families.
Do you want to learn how to enrich your relationship and discover more strengths, or do you have
distress in your marriage? Distress means one or both partners in a committed relationship are
experiencing high levels of dissatisfaction. With the distress comes powerful feelings of rejection, anger,
rage, disbelief, loneliness, grief, abandonment, shock, depression, and anxiety. Fifty per cent of all
marriages make it!, but half end in divorce. Ten to 15% of couples separate in their first four years of
marriage, and only 70% make it through the first ten years of a marriage.
Studies show that at any point in time, 20% of the population is distressed in their primary relationship. It
is the most frequent problem given as a reason for wanting services. Marital distress has a significant
negative impact on physical health, emotional health, work productivity, substance or alcohol use/abuse,
and parenting. Children of distressed parents suffer. Studies show that psychiatric diagnoses are double
for people who are maritally distressed. (From Jay Lebow, Ph.D.)
When a couple comes in, the most common complaints include lack of communication, different
commitment levels or infidelity, power struggles, unrealistic expectations, sexual concerns, lack of
problem solving, money differences, children concerns, and parenting style differences. Each couple
also has strengths; during counseling, these are uncovered or magnified so that the couple can begin to
experience less distress. I look at both the process and the patterns of problems which helps a couple to
find a healthier and more productive way to relate to each other.
Sometimes one person is trying to convince the other of the need for counseling; sometimes both of you
realize it is the “fix it now or I’m leaving” stage. Choose your therapist wisely; counseling with an
experienced and professionally trained marriage therapist is a good investment. We can help you with
pre-marital preparation, marital enrichment, marital distress, divorce prevention, divorce facilitation,
mediation,and partner issues. Call (218.477.7774) and ask your questions and/or make an appointment.
"The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home." (Confucius)
Family Counseling is a form of psychotherapy. Families are a powerful and important environment, so
opportunities abound for enormous and healthy change. If one family member has pain, the whole family
has pain. Many issues can be dealt with very effectively and efficiently by having the family members
come together to discuss their views of the problem/s and possible solutions.
Because each family creates its own "culture”, families often do not recognize or utilize their strengths
and skills which can be used to solve the problem. The therapist role is to help the family by collaborating
with them to strengthen or build the appropriate skills, behaviors, and coping mechanisms, to arrive at
new understandings of the family’s and the individual’s potential for health. "In a healthy family, all
members are dysfunctional sometimes; in an unhealthy family, one or two people get the honor all the
time " (Nelson, 1989).
Personal growth is one of life's greatest pleasures - a challenge and a responsibility to find that sweet, true
part of you - your essence. It is a process, not a moment - a journey of self-transformation. This may also
include an examination of your unloving, unattractive side, which helps one become whole. Experiences
of sadness, depression, anxiety, trauma, post traumatic stress, loneliness, anger or grief due to
disappointments and unmet expectations are invitations to grow. Personal growth affects your state of
mind and spirit and has great influence over your physical health. End needless confusion and suffering.
Take care of yourself NOW. "Emotions do not vanish by being banished" (Haim Ginott).
One effective method to assist in your personal growth is EMDR (eye movement desensitization and
reprocessing). For post traumatic stress, scientific research has established EMDR as effective.
Practitioners have also had success in using EMDR for panic attacks, complicated grief, phobias, pain
disorders, eating disorders, addiction, and other situations. See the EMDR International Assoc. web site
for more information.
Temperament Assessments and Consultations (ages 0-12 and ages 18- adulthood)
We offer specialized services - based on specific training –in helping people understand their “core” -
their authentic self – an essential of life! This includes temperament assessments and consultations
through the Carey Temperament Scales. These scales are designed to help a parent understand their
child, or themselves, in greater depth and how they “fit” with others / their environment. For more
information see the Temperament slide show and see the What is Temperament page.
We offer alternative dispute resolution services for numerous settings such as family, divorce, support
payments, visitation, parenting issues, child custody, domestic relations, elder care, wills and estates,
accident, personal injury, wrongful death, insurance, community, workplace, landlord-tenant, and school.
See our mediation slide show and see the mediation information page for more details.
See the "Reiki is an ancient healing art . . " page.
Specialized educational and informative seminars in Fargo, Moorhead, and surrounding area.
Counseling intake forms and other
Click intake forms (be patient waiting for the five pages) for paper work to be completed before the first
session. Click on insurance if you have health insurance.
Essentials of Life Services